Funny Advertisment for Health Product

This advertisment for a stop nail biting product is a mouth full!
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This advertisment for a stop nail biting product is a mouth full!
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There was an interesting survey done where doctores could talk about their pet-peeves as it relates to their patients. Here are a couple that I found intereststing:
Your doctor generally knows more than a website. I have patients with whom I spend enormous amounts of time, explaining things and coming up with a treatment strategy. Then I get e-mails a few days later, saying they were looking at this website that says something completely different and wacky, and they want to do that. To which I want to say (but I don’t), “So why don’t you get the website to take over your care?”
–Family, MD
I know that Reader’s Digest recommends bringing in a complete list of all your symptoms, but every time you do, it only reinforces my desire to quit this profession.
–Family, MD
To me I think the above two statements probably mean the person should consider a new profession.
Now here are a couple I agree with:
One of the things that bug me is people who leave their cell phones on. I’m running on a very tight schedule, and I want to spend as much time with patients as I possibly can. Use that time to get the information and the process you need. Please don’t answer the cell.
–pain specialist, New York City
I wish patients would take more responsibility for their own health and stop relying on me to bail them out of their own problems.
–ER physician, Colorado Springs, Colorado
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Mark off June 18th on your calendar if you want to get in on the bidding to have your dog cloned. A Northern California biotech company has announced that it will clone dogs for the five highest bidders in a series of online auctions. Some ethicists condemned the offer, fearing it could make cloning more acceptable and lead to human clones.
Opening bids start at $100,000 for the service being offered by Mill Valley-based BioArts International. The cloning process is to be performed by a South Korean scientist who suffered international disgrace after being found to have faked research. BioArts chief executive Lou Hawthorne formerly ran Genetic Savings & Clone, which offered to clone pet cats for $50,000 but folded in 2006 because few were willing to pay so much.
When Hawthrone was asked why dogs and not cats, he replied. The average dog owner has a different relationship with his dog than the average cat owner, Hawthorne said. The level of intensity on the dog side just dwarfed what we saw on the cat side.
To conduct the clonings, BioArts has partnered with a South Korean research team that recently created three clones of Hawthornes family dog, Missy, who died in 2002. The team was led by Hwang Woo-suk, who scandalized the international scientific community in 2005 when his breakthrough human cloning research involving embryonic stem cells was found to have been faked.
Tests performed at the University of California, Davis Veterinary Genetics Laboratory found that DNA samples taken from Missy and the three other dogs appeared to belong to the same individual. Hawthorne said that after spending 15 years with Missy, he is taking pleasure in seeing her mischievous streak coming out in her clones. They also like steamed broccoli just like she did, he said. Some groups that monitor advances in genetic technology argue that the companys project, called Best Friends Again, could serve as a gateway to more unsavory practices.
Critics also have lambasted the project for its association with Hwang. Earlier this month, a researcher close to Hwang told The Associated Press that the scientist, who went into seclusion after the deception was exposed, had established a pet-cloning company in Seoul. Hawthorne said he was wary of working with Hwang at first but said the Korean scientist had assembled the best technology and talent available. All of Hwangs results connected to dog cloning have been independently verified, Hawthorne said.
The Korean doctor sounds a bit quacky but I have a feeling that they will be able to sell these 5 auctions because there is not doubt that many folks love their dogs more than humans.
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A new patch just created will one day monitor a person’s health using minuscule sweat samples. The patch is being developed by Biotex, a consortium of European research institutes and companies, including the Swiss Centre for Electronics and Microtechnology (CSEM).
Most clothing designed for health monitoring focuses on physiological measurements, such as body temperature and heart rate. This is one of the first attempts to continuously analyze biochemical signals using clothing. The team employed a novel approach for monitoring: a combination of hydrophilic and hydrophobic yarns woven together to channel the sweat to the sensors. By utilizing natural attraction and repulsion actions to move the sweat, the method also circumvents the need for additional power sources, which would add bulk to such a device and make it less convenient for everyday use.
Once the fabric has directed a few milliliters of sweat into the patch, the sensors determine the amount of potassium, chloride, or sodium present. Measuring these electrolytes can provide insight into a person’s metabolism. By comparing the electrolyte amounts to reference measurements, such a system could indicate if the user is overexerting herself or stressed, says Jean Luprano, project coordinator at the CSEM.
Once the tiny reservoirs are full of sweat, the user throws away the chemical part of the patch, which is about 5 to 10 square inches. The patch-embedded band or shirt can be washed, and the monitoring electronics reused. This sounds like sci-fi but it reminds me if the new terminator tv show where the robot can diagnose your physical health by tasting your sweat.
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A couple of years ago we noticed that although we’d had a great year as far as new patients were concerned, our return visits seemed to have flattened out. Patients seemed pleased with the service, success rates were high, but it still felt like we were gaining new patients but not growing.
The problem, of course, was in the scheduling.
If your office is reasonably busy, a great booking strategy can increase your profitability almost overnight. If you’re not-so-busy, there’s good news here as well: Effective booking drives return visits like nothing else.
Here’s how we worked with our staff to create a more effective appointment strategy.
Strike While The Iron’s Hot
There will never be a better time to book the patient in question than right now. Whether they’re on the phone, or standing at your front desk, do it now. The patient who doesn’t book now is going to come back fewer times. Or never. It’s that simple.
Tell, Don’t Ask
You need to approach booking from a place of confidence. Adopt the attitude of assuming patients will book/rebook. Why? because your inner confidence is reflected in how you speak, in subtle ways that shift the likelihood of success.
Small difference in words. Big difference in outcome.
Leverage Our Love of Routine
Humans tend to be creatures of habit. We like consistency. Giving your patients recurring appointments in the same time slot makes it easy for them, and gives them a sense of ownership in the process.
If you can’t offer the same time, offer the same time of day: “We can get you in again on Wednesday morning next week.”
Narrow the Options
While you’re at it, consider offering just two options for any appointment. It’s easier for everyone. There’s some surprising research that shows that people buy more when their choices are not overwhelming.
Don’t Create Islands
When you’re offering up those two time slots, pick them carefully. Cluster your appointments back to back. You’ll work more effectively than if you schedule appointments haphazardly over the day, and you won’t end up with tiny windows that people who might need longer appointments, like new patients, can’t fit into. There’s nothing more frustrating than having a day full of holes, but not being able to see a new patient.
Create Scarcity
Many people (like me) don’t want to book a follow up if it’s too far in the future. Others just don’t want to commit ever. What gets me every time is the idea that if I don’t book, I might not get an appointment.
Remind People
I also don’t like to book too far out because I’m afraid I’ll forget. Reassure your patients by giving them an appointment card, and by telling them you’ll call a few days before the appointment to remind them.
Step On a Crack
We also have a monthly protocol for catching those stray patients that might fall through the cracks. Every month, we print a list of every patient whose birthday is in that month. That report shows the patient’s status (active, inactive, etc.) and when their next appointment is. Every active patient who doesn’t have a next appointment is examined to make sure we haven’t lost someone along the way.
If you know the annual value of a patient, it’s not hard to see that the few minutes it takes to scan through a few pages of names is well worth the time.
Protect the Schedule
All your best scheduling efforts are in vain if your patients don’t respect their appointments. Read our master list of tips for reducing no-shows, cancellations, and reschedules so that your booking strategy pays off.
Implementing most of these strategies is as simple as educating your staff. This list is essentially the blueprint that we used to write up a short booking policy for our front-line people. Use it if you find it helpful. What works even better is to use this list as a starting point for discussion - have your staff read it over, and then discuss any additional ideas and adjustments they might have.
Then, of course, let us all know in the comments!
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